Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Scarlet Muffin

This one is for all of you sisters in the bond of post holiday fat toxicity. Place your hand on the muffin top oozing above the waistband of your dress pants, take a deep breath and be thankful that you were not my sister today.

To set the stage. My sister, who has been mentioned before in this blog, works as a property manager of a large high rise in downtown Phoenix. A high rise building, heretofore referred to as "the village," is a true microcosm of society at large... Her stories are legend but today was perhaps the funniest and most painful for all of us middle aged muffin -topped moms......

Here is her email.....

If this doesn’t make my day – I just went over to our little restaurant to get a muffin and diet coke – the owner - a woman (from another country) yelled from behind the counter when I walked in…………………”OH Laura – YOU GOT FAT OVER HOLIDAY”....


Is it possible to raise her rent?

Raise her rent? Are you kidding me? The woman should be run out of town on a MUFFIN TRUCK !!!! At the very least, an unannounced visit from the restaurant health inspector is in order. My sister has now been publicly branded with a Scarlet M in the middle of her forehead (waistline) No longer can she anonymously stand in line for the morning caffeine hit and pastry. Her morning routine is forever changed as the villagers are now watching and weighing the caloric impact of every morsel that passes her lips.

I can't make this stuff up! This could be a Seinfeld episode, remember the soup Nazi?

So, the next time you are standing in line for your morning muffin and favorite caffeinated beverage beware of the person behind the counter. You may just get a public commentary on the "state of your weight"....beware of the Muffin nazi and feel free to voice your concerns at http://www.backcounterbuffet.blogspot.com/ . Please voice your support and shared sisterly outrage (or your favorite muffin recipe) by posting a comment of support for our kindred spirit and muffin topped mom, Laura. She has assured me that she will respond to all comments once she has completed her Muffin recovery program, Muffins Anonymous. (MA).

Peace and poppy seeds (my favorite muffin),



Regina said...

I hate baking...takes to long!!!
I am a very impatient kind of girl! But it looks heavenly!

I have an award for you. Swing by and pick it up!

Foodista said...

OMG that is horrible! I could never look at a muffin after that...well, I take that back...I'll just buy my muffin somewhere else :)

Ms. Conduct said...

From one sister to another . . . Eat the muffin!! Just buy it somewhere else.